Hello,
Darryl called in at our house on Saturday morning, he often does. It’s nice, the three of us have a cup of tea and a chat.
We have known each other for 9 years.
When we first met (Darryl on day release from prison) the chat was different. It was about criminal exploits, long sentences, and the characters he had met during many years of doing time. That was his life.
We’ve been through a lot together and I have the greatest respect for Darryl.
My family celebrated the young me doing well at school etc and thinking beyond myself.
Young Darryl’s family celebrated him doing crime well.
The journey to change your life away from being criminal should not be underestimated. It is hard and takes time.
Darryl now works full time for NHS Reconnect, as a peer support worker. Supporting people out of prison and often spotting good referrals for LandWorks.
It works well and several graduates would tell you that this combination of Darryl’s ‘lived experience’ and LandWorks support gave them hope when there was none.
In 2017 when Darryl was about to leave prison and looked like he would have to return to his old haunts, I asked if he would like to live next door to Julie and I. He didn’t reply, turned, and walked off.
He later came to find me to say that he didn’t want me to see his tears. That has changed now, partly because he’s often seen mine.
He reassures me “Chris, it’s important for me to see that emotion, it’s okay.” It is.
Darryl often refers to the importance of the little bits of becoming accepted and living in the community. So very different from prison life. Understanding a utility bill, a pay-packet advice slip, washing machines.
I miss Darryl’s singing. He often sang Elvis in the garden on a Sunday morning. He moved to a new place two years ago.
The thing I notice more and more when we catch up is that we are just talking about ‘normal stuff’. We now talk about work, relationships, his passion for collecting Moorcroft China, which he now acquires legally, it wasn’t always.
Finding your place in a community for all of us can be tricky. Having been actively criminal then re-entering a community as no longer criminal is daunting.
Acceptance is a two-way process, and it takes time. With plenty of time to talk.
Chris
20th June 2024