Hello,
I was chatting with Kara; we were picking flowers for the lunch table and she was interested in which blooms might represent forgiveness. This led into a wider conversation about forgiveness.
It’s not always an easy word to use or, at times, to relate to, as Kara said, “Can sound a bit judgy.”
I was gathering forget-me-nots, which are now growing everywhere (my mum gave us a clump for LandWorks about 12 years ago). I said to Kara I thought these flowers could symbolise acceptance and perhaps even reconciliation.
I think at LandWorks we have often witnessed reconciliation in some form, although it is often complex and much harder in practice. I also sense it can be most powerful when it originates from the victim.
Kara was waving some Euphorbia stems about, and the conversation moved on to self-forgiveness. She asked whether I had forgiven myself.
Not really looking up, err, I was just randomly pulling at forget-me-nots – avoidance!
Kara wanted answers…
I wasn’t sure she knew why I found my way into this type of work. It all stemmed from the deaths of two young men (drugs). We had worked together, and I had supported them for a number of years. I thought we had parted on bad terms, and I somehow felt responsible.
Kara wondered how I had been able to move on, and whether it took a long time to get over it. I think she was looking for reassurance for herself.
I looked up and said that, for me, finding some sort of peace had taken time and moved through stages:
Acceptance – understanding what part I played. It wasn’t my fault but I was involved in their lives.
Self-forgiveness – in time, being able to stop punishing myself for it. LandWorks helped, a lot.
Reconciliation – and, somewhat strangely (the mind does odd things), years later I realised my mind had blocked out that we had actually met again before their deaths, and parted on good terms. I’m glad that memory returned, as it helped me get closer to a sense of peace.
Kara was now busy arranging flowers. I said she was clearly a natural at making everything look right. But I’m not sure she appreciated my comment, replying that, “Chris just looking good on the surface isn’t really sustainable.”
Kara proclaimed that what we needed were poppies, a symbol of peace.
We are going to sow some – well, loads of them. We’ve produced lots of wildflower seed balls (including poppies and, among many other species, some self-heal). The idea is that they can be thrown into areas that might benefit from wildflowers (they’re also on sale in our shop).
Kara thinks they will help at LandWorks by becoming self-sustaining annual flowers, perhaps symbolising self-reconciliation and living in a better way.
I reckon so.
Chris
4th June 2026